SORRY

Last night, I know that I have really hurt someone really dear to me.. I didn't see what I was doing or rather I was denying to myself that I am hurting her.. and so earlier today around lunch time, she decided to RUN AWAY... run away from her problem.. run away from her home.. run away from us.. this was the first time that she really did it... because before she would just say that she'll run away, but in the end she never did.. and I never have imagine even once in my entire life of living with her that she'll do it.. I cried and cried all throughout the afternoon til tonight.. even though my eyes are hurting, still the tears won't stop flowing.. I felt my heart slipped, away from me.. now i've realized how much pain I've caused and inflicted on her and how she tried her best to keep all the pain inside and just pretended that she was okay.. but I guess it was already too much for her.. for she has decided to leave us.. her husband.. her children.. her family.. it is only two days after christamas.. that time she was still smiling and happy that we're all here.. all safe in the four corners of our home.. but now we are left here in our home, crying, worried and very much sorry... for all the things that we've done.. for asking too much from her and expecting that she can provide us with everything that we ask of her.. I don't think that I can sleep calmly tonight.. for she is the one inside my mind... can't wait for tommorow.. for she'll finally go home to us.. and I can't wait to tell her how sorry I am and that I love her so much.. and that she is the best and that I could not even ask for more.. so tomorrow when I'll see her.. I'll hug her tightly.. kiss her.. and tell her.. "Mama, I am very very sorry...."