finding someone
Friday, September 29, 2006:
"You have to work on this belief that needing someone is a sign of weakness. If everyone were self-sufficient, this world would a much more boring and lonelier place. Reach out to someone special." - according to my daily horoscope..
reach out and find that special someone. hmm.. this is kinda tough coz i have this thing that i have established upon myself, that i should be strong enough to NEVER EVER need someone because I know they'll just hurt me. that maybe the reason why i don't believe in fairytales and finding true love coz i know that it would never work out. some people may be LUCKY enough that they have found someone worthy of their LOVE. but then again why should i even bother trying when i know that the rest of us WON'T ever find that.
now that i think of it, it's kinda funny coz i saw him again earlier this morning. he still looks good and i still have this feelings that i don't ever wanna feel EVER again. but how can something feel so good can also be a bad thing all at the same time?!? i hate this damn feeling. i hate myself. and i also hate myself for saying that i hate it. i know that i should have gotten over it. it's been a year and a half but still... i just can't!!! as my friends and i were walking in the library, i saw him right there sitting with his friends and i just took out my phone and just walk straight ahead without looking elsewhere. then my friend told me that one of his guy friend looked at me for some reason and a very strange feeling came over me. but immediately i felt the hatred again. could someone tell me how to get rid of this horrid feelings?! i mean i have told myself millions of time to get over him and go on with life. and i did go on with my life, became busy and didn't paid much attention to things around me. then our paths just crossed once again. im pushing myself to like someone else but he just keeps popping in my mind like fireworks on new years eve. and i don't to enter a relationship with someone just because of that reason and because i know for sure the same thing might happen again and i don't think my heart can take another blow. so i just concluded that I AM BETTER OFF ALONE!!! = c
"You have to work on this belief that needing someone is a sign of weakness. If everyone were self-sufficient, this world would a much more boring and lonelier place. Reach out to someone special." - according to my daily horoscope..
reach out and find that special someone. hmm.. this is kinda tough coz i have this thing that i have established upon myself, that i should be strong enough to NEVER EVER need someone because I know they'll just hurt me. that maybe the reason why i don't believe in fairytales and finding true love coz i know that it would never work out. some people may be LUCKY enough that they have found someone worthy of their LOVE. but then again why should i even bother trying when i know that the rest of us WON'T ever find that.
now that i think of it, it's kinda funny coz i saw him again earlier this morning. he still looks good and i still have this feelings that i don't ever wanna feel EVER again. but how can something feel so good can also be a bad thing all at the same time?!? i hate this damn feeling. i hate myself. and i also hate myself for saying that i hate it. i know that i should have gotten over it. it's been a year and a half but still... i just can't!!! as my friends and i were walking in the library, i saw him right there sitting with his friends and i just took out my phone and just walk straight ahead without looking elsewhere. then my friend told me that one of his guy friend looked at me for some reason and a very strange feeling came over me. but immediately i felt the hatred again. could someone tell me how to get rid of this horrid feelings?! i mean i have told myself millions of time to get over him and go on with life. and i did go on with my life, became busy and didn't paid much attention to things around me. then our paths just crossed once again. im pushing myself to like someone else but he just keeps popping in my mind like fireworks on new years eve. and i don't to enter a relationship with someone just because of that reason and because i know for sure the same thing might happen again and i don't think my heart can take another blow. so i just concluded that I AM BETTER OFF ALONE!!! = c
posted by || Life on Earth || at 3:48 AM
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