a long sigh

oh my god!!!

after that dreadful 2 weeks, i finally saw him.

it was pretty weird though coz i thought that i'd be fine and okay about what had happened that night. but NO! i was totally unprepared for it.

he was staring at me. i just acted as if i don't see him. what to do? what to do?

i still want us to be friends, but i think it'd be difficult especially on my part. maybe if that kiss was only one time, i wouldn't feel this right now. why'd he have to kiss me again? its not that i regret ever doing it coz i don't, but it was with that second kiss that got in the way of everything.

just have to play cool. but how?

ugh!!! i don't want him thinking that i'm hung up on him. i'd look despearte! don't want that. but i really wish that he'd do the first move. *long sigh*.

i honestly wanna know what's happening to me. i wanna know why i'm feeling this way. if i do have feelings or something on HIM. i don't wanna expect most specially, assume, on somethings that i have no actual basis. why'd it have to be this difficult? this L word.

i just hope i'll know what to do the next time we'll see each other.